Sounds of Humans.

Hearken back to a bygone era, full of the simpler things:

Now, for a limited time only, bits of life “the way it was”…

…The Sounds of Humans.

Sounds of Humans

Rediscover the small yet precious events of everyday human life, gathered together in one handsome curated audio compilation.

Painstakingly researched and catalogued using only the highest-quality archival sources available, Sounds of Humans captures those fleeting, quaint, and trivial moments, once forgotten and taken for granted, now lost to history, many of them only available in this collection.

A compendium of auditory humanity, unprecedented in its clarity and breadth. As you listen, you’ll feel like there’s really a human in the room with you.

You’ll get:

Breathing, At Rest

Light Snoring

Finger Snaps

Armpit “Flatulence”*

Assorted Baby Talk*

Soft Weeping Into A Pillow (Lost Love)*

The Sigh of a Disappointed Father*

Yelled Curse Words

Soft Weeping Into A Pillow (Clinical Depression)*

Laughing at a Television Program Watched Alone*

Popping Joints (Medley)*

Setting the Microwave To A Minute On High*

Back Cracks

The Get-Up Grunt*


Jogging (with footfalls)

A Glass of Lemonade*

Male Urination in A Public Restroom*

Reading Packaged Food Labels in a Supermarket*†

The Last Time Mommy Shut the Door*

Swallowing Pills

Children Playing Outside, Recorded Through A Pane of Glass*

Kissing Her Forehead

After the Diagnosis*†

Subaudible Muttering (20/20 Hindsight)*

Slap That Bottom*

Opening a Bag of Flavored Corn Chips And Eating Several of the Chips*

Clothes Rustle

Signing Papers†


Home With The Flu*

Parent Comforts Child*†

Reading a Book

Washing Dishes

Paper Cut

Child Wiping Nose On Sleeve In Lieu of Using Facial Tissue*

The Grief Process in Five Movements*

Genuine Laughter*

Mouths In Contact/Passionate Kissing2

“Salty Snacks”

Out-of-shape Hiking, or Go On Ahead*

Solitary Birthday*

Schoolyard Bully†

Night Terrors

Scotch on the Rocks

Barroom Ambient†

Therapeutic Non-erotic Backrub*

Eating an Orange*

In Bed, Post-“Bad Dream”, Age 6

Pencil Tap (Four Hours Late)*

Heirloom Dish Drop Plus Aftermath*†

Flipping Through The Channels

Gum Chewing

The Last Cigarette, First Variation

Sunscreen Application (Arms, Chest, Stomach, Legs, Lower Back)*

Muscle Pull*

Tying One On*

Finding A Vein

Running From The Authorities (Innocent Until Proven Guilty)*

the haunting Prelude To Coitus*


… and many, many more.

Over 450 hours of mundane field recordings, available in all popular formats, that reveal the spectrum of minutiae that encompassed human experience. Listen to Sounds of Humans as a rich historical document of lives long dissolved, or play it in the background and immerse yourself in “human feels”.

However you plan to enjoy Sounds of Humans, order now, because once these collections are gone, the sounds they contain will never be commercially available again.

The sounds of “life” – the Sounds of Humans. The next best thing to actually being human.

Order now.


Contains incidental dialogue. When possible, the verbal content of the recording has been obscured, to preserve the sensory experience.

1All pre-recorded music has been removed from this artifact, to acoustically isolate the voice of an intoxicated, tone-deaf human female as she sings along with a recording of “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey, a 20C American “popular-rock” ensemble.

2The level of passion captured in this recording remains a subject of scholarly debate, as useful metrics for human passion no longer exist.

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