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Oscar Night

Oscar Night — we are encamped just outside the Black Gate to Celebrity Village. The ten-storey doors rumble open just enough to release a floating disembodied mouth.

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Previously on The Hairy Skeleton...

Dirt… From Mars!

ENTHUSIASTIC KID: Hey! Let’s eat some of this dirt from Mars!

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GROOVY AUTOBUS.

Tolerance ranges vary from deployment to deployment, based on extant arousal levels on the four major indices (fear, anxiety, desire, other).

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House of Haunted Houses.

The barker— a pallid, ectomorphic Jesus in a candy-striped vaudeville suit— stands atop a raised entry platform, swinging his cane and making tricks with his straw hat. He lets a little kid pull a chunk out of his beard; its patchiness suggests he’s been letting children do that for some time.

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Sentimental Favorites

My most beloved word-babies.

The False Leg.

Marston had planned quite well, or so he thought. The new leg would be just as good as the old, only he could put things in it. Important things, secret things. Documents, perhaps. Or gold bullion. Or a pistol. He asked the design team if they could line the hidden chamber with something impervious to prying x-rays. “Yes, we can,” they said, and altered the schematic.

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Life Among the Savages

A serial entertainment.

One man’s quest to find a mystical land, and the injuries he incurs while he searches.

Life Among the Savages, Part 22.

‘So we will have to be careful, like spies,’ said my brother. I nodded vigorously – for what young boy does not entertain dreams of being a skilled intelligencer, pursuing secretive duties for crown and country, reliant on wits and nerve alone while plunged deep within enemy terrain?

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A Totally Random Story

Chosen solely by math.

Crafty Corner: May Day!

1. Make yourself a bushy Karl Marx beard and wear it around the house or to school. Real dead-German philosopher hair works best, but if you don’t have any, try yarn. Gray and black are traditional favorites, but you can pick any color you want. Or for extra super-realism points, grow a real beard of your own! Ask an adult to help you.

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