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Oscar Night

Oscar Night — we are encamped just outside the Black Gate to Celebrity Village. The ten-storey doors rumble open just enough to release a floating disembodied mouth.

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Previously on The Hairy Skeleton...

Dirt… From Mars!

ENTHUSIASTIC KID: Hey! Let’s eat some of this dirt from Mars!

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Tolerance ranges vary from deployment to deployment, based on extant arousal levels on the four major indices (fear, anxiety, desire, other).

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House of Haunted Houses.

The barker— a pallid, ectomorphic Jesus in a candy-striped vaudeville suit— stands atop a raised entry platform, swinging his cane and making tricks with his straw hat. He lets a little kid pull a chunk out of his beard; its patchiness suggests he’s been letting children do that for some time.

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Sentimental Favorites

My most beloved word-babies.

Those Goldurned, Dadgummed Good Ol’ Days.

A panorama of browns and beige! Sepia, as far as the eye can see! Everything awash in aged colors, positively drenched in them! Everything looked like it fell from a tree a month ago! We’d seen colors in those fancy Chinese rugs and we didn’t want them! They rattled the blood and unbalanced your electric field! Ask Tesla! Go ahead, you ask him! I know he’s dead!

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Life Among the Savages

A serial entertainment.

One man’s quest to find a mystical land, and the injuries he incurs while he searches.

Life Among the Savages, Part 22.

‘So we will have to be careful, like spies,’ said my brother. I nodded vigorously – for what young boy does not entertain dreams of being a skilled intelligencer, pursuing secretive duties for crown and country, reliant on wits and nerve alone while plunged deep within enemy terrain?

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A Totally Random Story

Chosen solely by math.

Concerning the 24th of April.

Attention Fellow Occupants: I am writing in regard to the incident that occurred 24 April in the foyer of our building. I am writing and posting this letter in the foyer of our building so everything is out in the open and no one can accuse me of being sneaky or backhanded or in other […]

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